There’s Loneliness and Then There’s Loneliestness..

(Dedicated to my sister. I’m really sorry. Btw..dont sneeze!)

I never knew how lonely my sister would be after our mom passed.

I should have paid more attention to all the time and care she and her family were giving mom whereas I couldn’t and neither could my children.

Before we get our wires crossed up the very wrong way…mom loved us both and we both loved our mother.

Our mom spent almost all of my sister’s life trying to corral that child ..all the way up to the end of her teens, when she stayed gone the last time she ran away. I don’t remember how long she was gone, but eventually she came back… settled down a bit and tried going back to school in the summer. That didn’t last and the GED program for her diploma was out the window!

Oh what struggles and arguments our mom had with her!

Then came the day she got married…and months later she was pregnant. My mom and sister’s relationship changed gradually. They stopped misunderstanding each other. They talked. Laughed. Drank coffee and at long last…shopped together. The most ordinary of things. My sister started to rely on our mom for baby information. Pregnancy information. Marital stories were traded in the form of griping with one another over their mate’s perceived inadequacies and funny things they told.

Next our mom was helping my sister with her two children after her major surgery. And they got along. Our mom thought we never listened when she tried teaching us household cares…she saw herself reflected in my sister’s home. Our mom smiled. But she had to say things because she’s mom. Nit picking was her favorite thing I thought sometimes…lol.

My sister went on to divorce and marry again. And adopt in her heart a wild stepchild of her new husband’s. My sister just smiled I think. Well our mom was with her every step… through the good and tough and rough situations…. cause they usually lived pretty close to each others homes at times.

The last few years of our mom’s life was spent in a closeby area where my sister could get to her if needed. By this time my sister, like me, was pretty much unable to walk well because of our backs hips knees and feet giving up on us. My body declared the white flag first, then a few years later her body did the same. So taking care of our mom in her declining health state took everything my sister and her family had. It was kind of funny toward the last two years. I talked to both of them on the phone…and both complained about the other… how much the other must not care for them or they wouldn’t do such n such.

They both swore the son in law loved our mom more or was loved by our mom more or to that effect. Then the day came when our mom took her last breath and my sister and I were there as was the son in law.

I never realized how quiet….very quiet things were until recently. Reflection on those days that is.

And my sister has been really lonely since our mom passed. The Loneliestness I’ve ever realized. Mom can’t call her and argue and complain and she can’t argue back.

Something she’s done since she was little.

And it’s quiet now.


Author is Robin.


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